I am a Dad
March 18, 2008 at 2:39 am 8 comments
(As I prepare these words I feel a bit of fear and susceptibility to tears. My role as a daddy feels overwhelming and exhilarating at every moment of every day. I write in hopes that the men who read might know how they are in good company, or at least my company, if they have the same feelings.)
These are the three children (Koby, Keaton, Pryce) that God has entrusted to Jeanie and I. I really love being their daddy. My heart is overwhelmed with joy when I get to hold Koby my son, look him straight in the face and with a firm hug (the kind daddys give their sons) tell him I love him. My intense love for Koby is rivaled only by my adoration for baby girl, Keaton. I love those moments during the day when Keaton has to get everyone’s attention (one at a time by name) where she gets pouty lips and says something like “ai-u-ooo” (I love you). Pryce makes me the most proud, because now I can talk about “my boys.”
I must confess, however, that being a good parent is hard. All the while I am trying to teach patience, selflessness, obedience I am battling my own unwillingness to be patient, selfless, and obedient. There are times when I am terrified that I am disciplining too much or too little, hugging too much or too little, or expecting too much or too little. These soft moments drive me to gasping (like praying but with much fewer words) before the Lord. This is probably why God allows parenting to be so tough.
I pray to God that I am great at everything I do. I aspire to be the greatest husband, to be an effective pastor, to be a great thinker, to be a great friend. Greatness in these things will require so much passion, humility, and grace. I approach fatherhood with the same determination, but with much more fear and trembling.
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1.
Charlie Cravens | March 18, 2008 at 2:45 am
What beautifull children..
2.
andrew minchew | March 19, 2008 at 4:59 am
you are / will be a good dad.
3.
Starr | March 19, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Great, great post. I’m linking to it from my blog today, so expect the visitors on your site to jump up by tens of people.
4.
Margo | March 19, 2008 at 6:55 pm
I’m glad Starr linked your post on her blog today. Being a parent is tough work and I know what you mean about the whole gasping before the Lord thing. I praise God for His grace and pray that my kids will have grace also as they see me failing at times. You have beautiful children!
5.
Carrie | March 19, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Russell this was a great post. John and I had a long talk the other night about how hard it is to be a parent and if we are doing things right. I know that John has the same feeling as you do as do I about being a good mommy. I pray everyday that God will teach and lead us in being a good parents. After reading your post it reminded me that I should not only pray this for John and I but for our friends as well.:)
6.
Lisa Cash (Clanton) | March 20, 2008 at 1:08 am
The first post of yours I’ve ever read (thanks to Starr, by the way), and you GOT ME. I’m so glad that you’re doing well, Russell, and your post moved me and I’ll be thinking about this all day, all the way over in Japan…
7.
Cindy | March 24, 2008 at 3:42 am
Speaking as a parent with two grown and godly girls, parenting is one of the hardest tasks that God sets before us. You have the responsibility of raising your children to love and honor God. My constant prayer was that my girls would love the Lord God will all their heart! Every day I prayed for that for them (and still do!). Yet, one of the hardest parts of parenting is living before your children so they will see Jesus radiate from every part of you. Wow is that a difficult thing to do!! Of course I have messed up quite a bit, but I’ve learned to ask forgiveness quickly. Consistency is the key – Live your life in a manner worth every day. Give loving and consistent discipline every day. Don’t be tempted to bend if you think you’re being too tough. Life is tough and they must be prepared for it.
Russell, you and Jeanie are doing a great job! Be consistent in depending on God and He will guide your steps.
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